Pre-school

Well, in less than a week Caleb will start his school journey at JB's Bright Beginnings in Irwin. I'm not sure who this will be harder on, me or him, even though I know he needs this on so many levels. His new schedule (what 3 year old has this kind of schedule??) is:
Monday - School: 9-11:45
Tuesday - Speech @ 1:15
Wednesday - School: 9-11:45
Thursday - Speech @ 11:45
Friday - Speech @ 8:30, School 9-11:45

At first I worried about this schedule but he's excited for school and he loves his speech classes. We're hoping this will increase his overall speech, but I guess we'll see what happens.

In the mean time, I think I feel worse about pre-school because I can't take him on his first day.  I might try to arrange this with my internship and work so that  I can at least take him Wednesday morning with my dad and then come to Seton Hill... It's going to be a crazy year!

For anyone in the Pittsburgh area, feel free to join our Apraxia walk team on October 2nd! All the proceeds go to CASANA to help fund research for why some kids have this disability.

Adult Bullies.... still dumb, just old..

So after some recent events, I just could help myself but to point out flaws of bullies... The first thing to be said, no I was not bullied at work or anywhere else, just know of a situation which sounds like a 3rd grade classroom and needed to toss it out... :)

With that said here it is....

Bullies target because of:

Being good at your job.

The bully fears exposure of their inadequacy and incompetence, your presence, popularity and competence unknowingly and unwittingly fuel that fear.

Being the expert and the person to whom people come to for advice, getting more attention than the bully.

Having a well-defined set of values which you will not compromise.

Having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited.

Showing independence of thought or deed.

Jealousy and envy are strong motivators of bullying.

Regularly choose the target by offensive remarks and language or give the silent treatment. 

Degrade, threaten, or humiliate.

Wow, sounds like something a kid would do when they need to feel better about themselves right or want attention?? 

Types of bullies:

Sadistic, narcissistic bully
Lacks empathy for others. Has low degree of anxiety about consequences. Narcissistic need to feel omnipotent. May appear to have a high self esteem but it is actually a brittle narcissism.

Imitative bully
May have low self esteem or be depressed. Influenced by the surrounding social climate. May use whining or tattling or be manipulative. Often responds well to a change in the culture of the classroom or social setting. If depressed may need other intervention. 

Impulsive bully
He is less likely to be part of a gang. His bullying is more spontaneous and may appear more random. He has difficulty restraining himself from the behavior even when authorities are likely to impose consequences. He may have AD/HD. He may respond to medications and behavioral treatment and social skills training. He is also likely to be bullied.

Accidental Bully
If bullying is a deliberate act, this individual might not be included. The behavior may be offensive because the individual does not realize that his actions are upsetting the victim. If someone patiently and compassionately explains the situation, the individual will change the behavior. Sometimes social skills need to be taught. There is some overlap with the impulsive bully.

 Okay, so we can ALL be a bully at sometimes, even without realizing it but if you call someone a name because you refer to yourself as the same and think it's okay, guess what - it's not... Though perhaps accidental, other things not so much... 

Bullying and social stability

One might look at adult bullying as a mechanism of social control. Employers, government officials, and others in authority wish to retain and increase their control and authority. If power and control are central to the existence of an organization, bullying and denial about the existence of bullying may be central to the stability of the organization. Rules, regulations and clear lines of authority are not the same as institutional bullying. A person who might grow up in a family where there was covert intimidation, inconsistent demands and unfair treatment.  His parents might single him out for harsher treatment than his siblings but make him feel too guilty to speak out. Paradoxically enough, such an individual might experience a strong sense of relief after joining the military. He would experience more overt yelling and more minute-to-minute control of his activities. Yet he thrives. Why? In the armed forces he would report that he received fair and consistent treatment. The rules were predictable. The expectations were rigorous but clear and predictable. His superiors shouted at him, but they shouted at everyone else. Some superiors might be excessively harsh, but everyone knew who they were and knew what to expect. Intense, highly authoritarian situations sometimes lend themselves to bullying situations.  However, this is not always the case. If there are consistent predictable rules and no one is unfairly singled out, hierarchy does not necessarily mean bullying. In strict hierarchical situations, there should always be an avenue for individuals who feel that they are being treated unfairly or being asked to do unethical things.

Well off my soapbox, but still irritated.. oh well, can't win 'em all! :)

Resources:

http://www.ncpamd.com/Bullying_thru_life_cycle.htm

http://www.lifeafteradultbullying.com/

Weekend fun...

So people that have kids who are typical (meaning they develop every skill on time or pretty near to it) don't always understand how something so small like "I heard him say..." can really mean to us! Caleb hasn't been formally diagnosed with Apraxia but we continue to hear from his private speech therapist at the Children's Institute how he's looking like he's more Apraxic all the time. So yesterday we're at a picnic at Matt's cousin's house with a number of people we've never met. The one woman knew Matt's aunt and uncle fairly well and just kept saying how well behaved Caleb was and how adorable he is, bla bla bla all that other stuff that most parents love to hear (not that I don't - it's just way under rated when there are other things). I forget what Caleb said and I answered and I just kind of got this look when he did a sign and then I went into my Apraxia talk. She was shocked and just said how clear he seemed, etc... If people could only understand just how important that stuff is in comparison to how well behaved he was just for that second!

Bye Bye Choo Choo...

Who knew those 4 little words put together would be so exciting!? I know these things seem so small to many, but Caleb has had to work harder than so many kiddo's to be able to say that! It's amazing to hear the 2 word phrases he's finally putting out there for all of us to hear and know what's going on in that mind of his.

On a totally different note, today was Caleb's 3rd birthday party! Totally fun. Colleen and Gretchen - my two friends from college (who were also there when Caleb was born) came to the party and spent some time with us! I forget how much I have gotten caught up in my own life. I really need to get out of my bubble and do more!

He's not a baby...

So that's right.. I'm a little depressed for the fact that my baby isn't a baby anymore! He's 3! Where did time go? Did it fly past me without ever seeing it?

He looks so tall in these pictures and far too grown up to be the little boy we had last year at this time who had no words and no opinion. Might I add he's become VERY opinionated these days! When did that happen? *lol* Uncle Joe and Uncle Marc teaching him to say "pshht" to blow people off really just makes him sound like a bratty teenager which though endearing now, I'm sure I'll hate in about 12 years!

Who knew...

that hearing "He's saying so many words!" could mean so much!? While talking on the phone, Caleb always wants in on the action so of course he has to say "hi" to whoever I'm talking to. Amy has no idea how much she made my day by saying 5 little words! Thanks Amy!

2010 Walkathon for Children with Apraxia - Benefitting CASANA Programs and Research - Apraxia-KIDS

2009 Walkathon for Children with Apraxia - Benefitting CASANA Programs and Research - Apraxia-KIDS

2010 is set up for our area!