Caleb's first day at Fort Allen Elementary School

      And so it begins! Caleb started kindergarten last week and absolutely LOVES it! I am however concerned about the teacher, but that's a story for a whole new day. At this point, I'm just thrilled that he loves going to school and for the moment, we'll live with that.
       Last night his teacher sent a paper home saying that he needed to practice his lower case a's (he HATES handwriting). He was none too happy when mommy busted out the handwriting worksheets and made him practice to take it to school.

Lunch sandwiches

      Another exciting event was that today he was buying lunch for the first time! I've never seen a child so excited to buy lunch. I am not for it at all but, he really wanted to so I told him once a week - the rest of the week Mommy gets to pack for him (deal made!).
       Today's adventure is piano lessons... We will see how that goes!

Caleb and his "picks"

Matt thought that he got ME an Ipod for Christmas.... He was sadly mistaken as Caleb takes it over any waking moment that it is in the house. *lol* What's funny is it's not just for the games, as I've loaded about 10 on there for him so that he can use it but it's gotten to be more for the music...

Laying on the couch a couple weeks ago with the Ipod. He looks like a dorky teenager with his Star Wars t-shirt and chucks. *lol*

This week's top picks for him are:
Cigarette - The Clarks
Everybody Wants to Go to Heaven - Kenny Chesney
Firework - Katy Perry
Folsom Prison Blues - Johnny Cash
Mean - Taylor Swift
Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heros
Moves Like Jagger - Maroon 5
Marry Me - Train

Can we talk variety? *lol* He informed me that Moves Like Jagger is his other "police team song" along with "Rumor Has It" by Adele. He also likes "Set Fire to the Rain" by Adele. The best part is, the kid who has had speech for almost 3 full years and I never thought I would hear sing listens to the songs over and over so he can learn the words!

It's quiet...

and that always gives me time to think. Now, this usually is a bad thing but this morning I have been thinking about how far Caleb has come in terms of his speech and what will happen next year with school and the potential of speech in school.


Firstly, speech has been a large part of our lives for almost 3 years now. I understand now why the parents of my students panic when it's time to end a service. I feel like I'm losing a person who has been a part of my life for 2 years now helping my child find a part of him that would otherwise be lost. Listening to Caleb's constant talk and use of phrases like, "The state police have been dispatched to route 30 to clean up a tri-axel accident." it's really hard to believe that he ever needed speech to begin with. I remember being at a wake for a family member and having another family member talk to me about one day Caleb saying, "I love you mommy." At that time I had no positive indicator that would happen. I was told that Caleb "will spend a long time, years in intensive speech therapy" and even then the hope that could possibly be shed was weeks later introduced with an augmentative communication device (ACD). Clearly, Caleb is a pretty bright kid and sickly loved the activities being pushed at him by 2 therapists 4 times a week until he was 3. He enjoyed the time and followed through with drills in private therapy and worked hard with his early intervention therapist who, we were so fortunate to have since she identified the potential CAS 3 months in. I still remember that October day at his 3 month review being told that Chris, his therapist, and the caseworker believed he had CAS and I would need to get more evaluations completed. This usually required something simple, like a recommendation/prescription to have further evaluation from the pediatrician. I'll skip the anger I hold for Caleb's former pediatrician and his lack of knowledge or desire to treat children not make money but by mid-October we had a hearing screening to ensure it wasn't a hearing issue interfering with communication (I knew this was a non-issue since I requested this when he had his tubes put in at a year old) and then soon heading back to have an intense speech evaluation. By mid-December I was told that Caleb should go to pre-school (near impossible for a 2 year old who was not potty trained) and that he should enter private speech therapy. Now fast-forward a little more than 2 years and a lot of work of everyone (Caleb, us, my parents, Matt's mom and step-dad, and really a crew of the best therapists) and Caleb never stops talking.

With this idea that private therapy may soon end, I requested that the Intermediate Unit (IU) re-evaluate him as he had qualified for services last school year but had things get in the way due to the IU. They were very quick to remedy this and he'll be re-evaluated on Friday. The best thing, and something I never thought I would hear, is that his pre-school teachers don't understand why we're having him re-evaluated because they don't notice a thing wrong with his speech. They believe that all his errors are age-appropriate.

I guess we'll see how the evaluation goes! If he somehow manages to qualify for services (articulation only) he'll then transition to school age services in the spring when he turns 5.  I worry about kindergarten. Caleb loves school right now, and while I dislike his teacher he likes her. I worry that next year he might now. I'm again handing my child over to someone else but this time someone I share a profession with. I have high expectations for this person and I almost feel sorry for the pain I may cause them in the near future. So here is my apology in advance - I will be a pain in your a$$ but know that my intentions, as yours should be, are only for the good of my child. I will ask you questions, share my concerns, and probably give my advice on things with my child you won't want to hear. I will not care. I hope that you too are a parent and can possibly understand how hard it is to watch your child struggle with things. Again, I'm sorry now because I know what it is like to have a parent like me. I'm sure that you will hate me at times and will sometimes wish I never existed. You will enjoy my child and say things like, "Too bad his mother is such a pain in the a$$." You will mean this but remember it is the pain in the a$$ parents who actually care. The parents that never ask a question or share a concern are those you need to watch out for. Maybe this is a different idea in a traditional brick and mortar school.


Christmastime, 2010 video

Christmastime, 2011: 

Giggles and Squeals - Christmas is Coming!

With the craziness of the holiday I have to say, I think I'm feeling pretty calm about it this year. All my cards needs are labels, gifts need wrapped (and out of the trunk of the car), and the house is decorated. This has to be a first since having Caleb for sure.

What has been absolutely wonderful is hearing Caleb insanely giggle and squeal like he's never seen a Christmas ornament in his life. They do say it's the small things in life that make you smile the most, well needless to say this is definitely one of them. Considering that 2 years ago he could barely grunt out a sound, I'm pretty excited to hear words like ornament, lights, can I helps, etc... While I have come to the point that I don't enjoy being asked at 7am if we're going to decorate the tree, I happily oblige going to my car to get the extra string of lights that have burned out on the pre-lit tree so that we can get the ornaments on. I also happily oblige to having a 4 year old boss me around as to where "MY" ornaments should go.

It's only a matter of time until he's able to reach the top of the tree and put the star on all by himself and probably won't be so excited at that point. Really, I have to say I miss those moments already even though it hasn't come to it yet, I know in a few short years that sweet little boy might be a grumpy teenager who hates me because I said no. (Note, he threatened to live with Pappy Joe and Gaga Marsha last week because I said no...) So I'm sucking in all the cuteness now because one day I'll be able to show him how cute, helpful, and excited he was.

Outside of the Christmas realm, Caleb is doing pre-school this year at the YWCA. He loves it! He does occasionally get weepy but it's usually quickly passed. Yesterday was one of those days where he wanted me mid-day. Got a little weepy but it's been a while so I really thought nothing of it. After school we go to run our errands, he gets giddy and crazy by passing the time giggling over "chubby cheeks" (squeezing mine and his own cheeks through Wal-mart - so glad I don't care much for what people there think). I get to Five Below and dad (Pappy Joe) calls me to ask if Caleb is okay - "Yes, why??" I'm thinking Caleb was weepy at drop off. He moves on to tell me that Caleb asked him to pick him up and put him on his shoulders and that he told him he couldn't because his knees hurt. Caleb's response was, "Oh, like Big Matt." and he kind of walked away. Dad said nothing. Long story short, Big Matt passed away last week and the funeral was last Thursday. Caleb did go to viewing Wednesday night with us and was a okay. We explained that Matt wasn't in any pain anymore and he was in heaven - I think the typical answer you give a 4 year old when explaining death except with some added detail on a soul (kid is too smart for his own good). So I get him home telling Matt what he told dad and he asks Caleb about it asking if he was worried about Pappy Joe. Caleb's response, "Yes, because he hurts." He walked away and then we realized just how much he understood... Big Matt was in a lot of physical pain and needed a cane to walk in more recent months. So hopefully we can get beyond this phase of worry quickly, but then again he's his mother's child so I'm doubting it.

A little boy's dreams come true...

So let's just say that yesterday Caleb's world was rocked... We went to a firefighter festival that Uncle Jeff was a part of as a firefighter in Harrisville, OH. Caleb was excited to see Uncle Jeff for the simple fact that in Caleb's eyes he IS the best thing ever! In case you haven't figured this out by now, Caleb is absolutely OBSESSED with being a firefighter. So dreams were made when Caleb was taken on the fire truck for the parade AND got to work the sirens and lights. Video to come soon once I can get it off my phone!

Not a baby anymore....

My baby isn't a baby anymore... He now sleeps in his own bed, insists on "helping himself" instead of anyone else helping him, and starts preschool on Wednesday.  I think I'm probably more worried than he is and hope that this year is better. He's with 11 other kids only and in a really small YWCA program so I think it will be. He's all excited that his backpack and coat go in the "rooster cubby" and of course the playground. It's funny to look at all of his baby pictures and then look at him and see how he's grown in the last 4 and a half years. Sometimes I feel like that time was wished away because of school or work and I forgot all about the whole part that I wanted to keep around. I tell him all the time to stop growing and the quick response has always been, "No! I want to grow up and be a strong firefighter!" This two year obsession has gone crazy! Firstly, 2 years seems crazy - obsessed for half your life about being a firefighter seems so extreme but then I wonder if that's what he'll eventually do.  I also laugh as mom tells him that she wants him to go to college. While I do to, I also realize because of work that it isn't for everyone. I guess only time will tell!

Time is flying

It's hard to believe that Caleb is now 4! What the heck happened here? Not only is he 4 BUT he's full of attitude and thinks he's a 30 year old bachelor!

He's also OBSESSED beyond words with being a firefighter - all we hear is "Mommy when I get big I'm going to..." Keep in mind the ... could be "be a firefighter," "have a fire dog and fight fires," and anything else - use your imagination because boy does he!

A boy and his fire dog (Sammie)

In a better situation though, I came to realize while sitting in his speech session yesterday that it's been a year and a half since he's started speech with Miss Christie at the Children's Institute in Norwin. I went from this 2 and a half year old who pointed and grunted to this amazing, non-stop talking, precocious, advantage taking 4 year old who believes he can take on the world and win. My question remains - WHEN did this happen? It's like time stopped and all of a sudden he's almost on target. He's still tough to understand speech wise if you're not around him a lot or if he talks too quickly but the point being I had fears he would always grunt and point. Okay, if you know the kid, you know he's smart - maybe even too smart for his own good - so this was probably a VERY unrealistic fear, but a fear none-the-less.

Baby to Boy!

1 month old - first pictures - still lived in VA.

Hanging out in the bumbo

What a CUTE pumpkin!

First hair cut in Disney World!

We are the men in black! - Looks like he's so big here!!

Moose Hat!

Just before turning 4 - he looks like a little college professor!

Pre-school

Well, in less than a week Caleb will start his school journey at JB's Bright Beginnings in Irwin. I'm not sure who this will be harder on, me or him, even though I know he needs this on so many levels. His new schedule (what 3 year old has this kind of schedule??) is:
Monday - School: 9-11:45
Tuesday - Speech @ 1:15
Wednesday - School: 9-11:45
Thursday - Speech @ 11:45
Friday - Speech @ 8:30, School 9-11:45

At first I worried about this schedule but he's excited for school and he loves his speech classes. We're hoping this will increase his overall speech, but I guess we'll see what happens.

In the mean time, I think I feel worse about pre-school because I can't take him on his first day.  I might try to arrange this with my internship and work so that  I can at least take him Wednesday morning with my dad and then come to Seton Hill... It's going to be a crazy year!

For anyone in the Pittsburgh area, feel free to join our Apraxia walk team on October 2nd! All the proceeds go to CASANA to help fund research for why some kids have this disability.

Adult Bullies.... still dumb, just old..

So after some recent events, I just could help myself but to point out flaws of bullies... The first thing to be said, no I was not bullied at work or anywhere else, just know of a situation which sounds like a 3rd grade classroom and needed to toss it out... :)

With that said here it is....

Bullies target because of:

Being good at your job.

The bully fears exposure of their inadequacy and incompetence, your presence, popularity and competence unknowingly and unwittingly fuel that fear.

Being the expert and the person to whom people come to for advice, getting more attention than the bully.

Having a well-defined set of values which you will not compromise.

Having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited.

Showing independence of thought or deed.

Jealousy and envy are strong motivators of bullying.

Regularly choose the target by offensive remarks and language or give the silent treatment. 

Degrade, threaten, or humiliate.

Wow, sounds like something a kid would do when they need to feel better about themselves right or want attention?? 

Types of bullies:

Sadistic, narcissistic bully
Lacks empathy for others. Has low degree of anxiety about consequences. Narcissistic need to feel omnipotent. May appear to have a high self esteem but it is actually a brittle narcissism.

Imitative bully
May have low self esteem or be depressed. Influenced by the surrounding social climate. May use whining or tattling or be manipulative. Often responds well to a change in the culture of the classroom or social setting. If depressed may need other intervention. 

Impulsive bully
He is less likely to be part of a gang. His bullying is more spontaneous and may appear more random. He has difficulty restraining himself from the behavior even when authorities are likely to impose consequences. He may have AD/HD. He may respond to medications and behavioral treatment and social skills training. He is also likely to be bullied.

Accidental Bully
If bullying is a deliberate act, this individual might not be included. The behavior may be offensive because the individual does not realize that his actions are upsetting the victim. If someone patiently and compassionately explains the situation, the individual will change the behavior. Sometimes social skills need to be taught. There is some overlap with the impulsive bully.

 Okay, so we can ALL be a bully at sometimes, even without realizing it but if you call someone a name because you refer to yourself as the same and think it's okay, guess what - it's not... Though perhaps accidental, other things not so much... 

Bullying and social stability

One might look at adult bullying as a mechanism of social control. Employers, government officials, and others in authority wish to retain and increase their control and authority. If power and control are central to the existence of an organization, bullying and denial about the existence of bullying may be central to the stability of the organization. Rules, regulations and clear lines of authority are not the same as institutional bullying. A person who might grow up in a family where there was covert intimidation, inconsistent demands and unfair treatment.  His parents might single him out for harsher treatment than his siblings but make him feel too guilty to speak out. Paradoxically enough, such an individual might experience a strong sense of relief after joining the military. He would experience more overt yelling and more minute-to-minute control of his activities. Yet he thrives. Why? In the armed forces he would report that he received fair and consistent treatment. The rules were predictable. The expectations were rigorous but clear and predictable. His superiors shouted at him, but they shouted at everyone else. Some superiors might be excessively harsh, but everyone knew who they were and knew what to expect. Intense, highly authoritarian situations sometimes lend themselves to bullying situations.  However, this is not always the case. If there are consistent predictable rules and no one is unfairly singled out, hierarchy does not necessarily mean bullying. In strict hierarchical situations, there should always be an avenue for individuals who feel that they are being treated unfairly or being asked to do unethical things.

Well off my soapbox, but still irritated.. oh well, can't win 'em all! :)

Resources:

http://www.ncpamd.com/Bullying_thru_life_cycle.htm

http://www.lifeafteradultbullying.com/

Weekend fun...

So people that have kids who are typical (meaning they develop every skill on time or pretty near to it) don't always understand how something so small like "I heard him say..." can really mean to us! Caleb hasn't been formally diagnosed with Apraxia but we continue to hear from his private speech therapist at the Children's Institute how he's looking like he's more Apraxic all the time. So yesterday we're at a picnic at Matt's cousin's house with a number of people we've never met. The one woman knew Matt's aunt and uncle fairly well and just kept saying how well behaved Caleb was and how adorable he is, bla bla bla all that other stuff that most parents love to hear (not that I don't - it's just way under rated when there are other things). I forget what Caleb said and I answered and I just kind of got this look when he did a sign and then I went into my Apraxia talk. She was shocked and just said how clear he seemed, etc... If people could only understand just how important that stuff is in comparison to how well behaved he was just for that second!

Bye Bye Choo Choo...

Who knew those 4 little words put together would be so exciting!? I know these things seem so small to many, but Caleb has had to work harder than so many kiddo's to be able to say that! It's amazing to hear the 2 word phrases he's finally putting out there for all of us to hear and know what's going on in that mind of his.

On a totally different note, today was Caleb's 3rd birthday party! Totally fun. Colleen and Gretchen - my two friends from college (who were also there when Caleb was born) came to the party and spent some time with us! I forget how much I have gotten caught up in my own life. I really need to get out of my bubble and do more!

He's not a baby...

So that's right.. I'm a little depressed for the fact that my baby isn't a baby anymore! He's 3! Where did time go? Did it fly past me without ever seeing it?

He looks so tall in these pictures and far too grown up to be the little boy we had last year at this time who had no words and no opinion. Might I add he's become VERY opinionated these days! When did that happen? *lol* Uncle Joe and Uncle Marc teaching him to say "pshht" to blow people off really just makes him sound like a bratty teenager which though endearing now, I'm sure I'll hate in about 12 years!

Who knew...

that hearing "He's saying so many words!" could mean so much!? While talking on the phone, Caleb always wants in on the action so of course he has to say "hi" to whoever I'm talking to. Amy has no idea how much she made my day by saying 5 little words! Thanks Amy!

2010 Walkathon for Children with Apraxia - Benefitting CASANA Programs and Research - Apraxia-KIDS

2009 Walkathon for Children with Apraxia - Benefitting CASANA Programs and Research - Apraxia-KIDS

2010 is set up for our area!

Apraxia of Speech

So, our journey has begun. First, if I have to explain what it is, here is the best place to do it!

Apraxia of speech is a speech disorder in which a person has trouble saying what he or she wants to say correctly and consistently. It is not due to weakness or paralysis of the speech muscles (the muscles of the face, tongue, and lips). The severity of apraxia of speech can range from mild to severe.

Developmental apraxia of speech (DAS) occurs in children and is present from birth. It appears to affect more boys than girls. This speech disorder goes by several other names, including developmental verbal apraxia, developmental verbal dyspraxia, articulatory apraxia, and childhood apraxia of speech. DAS is different from what is known as a developmental delay of speech, in which a child follows the "typical" path of speech development but does so more slowly than normal.

The cause or causes of DAS are not yet known. Some scientists believe that DAS is a disorder related to a child's overall language development. Others believe it is a neurological disorder that affects the brain's ability to send the proper signals to move the muscles involved in speech. However, brain imaging and other studies have not found evidence of specific brain lesions or differences in brain structure in children with DAS. Children with DAS often have family members who have a history of communication disorders or learning disabilities.


Children with developmental apraxia of speech generally can understand language much better than they are able to use language to express themselves. Some children with the disorder may also have other problems. These can include other speech problems, such as dysarthria; language problems such as poor vocabulary, incorrect grammar, and difficulty in clearly organizing spoken information; problems with reading, writing, spelling, or math; coordination or "motor-skill" problems; and chewing and swallowing difficulties.
The severity of both acquired and developmental apraxia of speech varies from person to person. Apraxia can be so mild that a person has trouble with very few speech sounds or only has occasional problems pronouncing words with many syllables.


Children with developmental apraxia of speech will not outgrow the problem on their own. Speech-language therapy is often helpful for these children and for people with acquired apraxia who do not spontaneously recover all of their speech abilities.

Speech-language pathologists use different approaches to treat apraxia of speech, and no single approach has been proven to be the most effective. Therapy is tailored to the individual and is designed to treat other speech or language problems that may occur together with apraxia. Each person responds differently to therapy, and some people will make more progress than others. People with apraxia of speech usually need frequent and intensive one-on-one therapy. Support and encouragement from family members and friends are also important.

Researchers are searching for the causes of developmental apraxia of speech, including the possible role of abnormalities in the brain or other parts of the nervous system. They are also looking for genetic factors that may play a role in DAS. Other research on DAS is aimed at identifying more specific criteria and new techniques that can be used to diagnose the disorder and distinguish it from other communication disorders.

http://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/voice/apraxia.htm

Okay, now that it's out of the way, here's the deal. Caleb had a SLP evaluation done on 12/16/09 and because of his age and possible issues of frustration getting in the way for no diagnosis, it has been determined as "probable apraxia".. So what do we have to do? Treat it like apraxia and push for lots of speech and hope and pray that medical assistance loophole will pick us up and help us with paying for it!

What we do to work with him at home is kind of all over the place. Dinner and tubby time are not play anymore, but instead work time for Caleb and he's also taking fish oil capsules (cut open ~ yes, they're odorless ~ and squeezed into his mouth). We try to do as much as he can handle and I believe everyone else does their best too. We have a few words now and he's actually saying "bye" without whispering which is huge!

So for now, we shall see. We do our best.