Giggles and Squeals - Christmas is Coming!

With the craziness of the holiday I have to say, I think I'm feeling pretty calm about it this year. All my cards needs are labels, gifts need wrapped (and out of the trunk of the car), and the house is decorated. This has to be a first since having Caleb for sure.

What has been absolutely wonderful is hearing Caleb insanely giggle and squeal like he's never seen a Christmas ornament in his life. They do say it's the small things in life that make you smile the most, well needless to say this is definitely one of them. Considering that 2 years ago he could barely grunt out a sound, I'm pretty excited to hear words like ornament, lights, can I helps, etc... While I have come to the point that I don't enjoy being asked at 7am if we're going to decorate the tree, I happily oblige going to my car to get the extra string of lights that have burned out on the pre-lit tree so that we can get the ornaments on. I also happily oblige to having a 4 year old boss me around as to where "MY" ornaments should go.

It's only a matter of time until he's able to reach the top of the tree and put the star on all by himself and probably won't be so excited at that point. Really, I have to say I miss those moments already even though it hasn't come to it yet, I know in a few short years that sweet little boy might be a grumpy teenager who hates me because I said no. (Note, he threatened to live with Pappy Joe and Gaga Marsha last week because I said no...) So I'm sucking in all the cuteness now because one day I'll be able to show him how cute, helpful, and excited he was.

Outside of the Christmas realm, Caleb is doing pre-school this year at the YWCA. He loves it! He does occasionally get weepy but it's usually quickly passed. Yesterday was one of those days where he wanted me mid-day. Got a little weepy but it's been a while so I really thought nothing of it. After school we go to run our errands, he gets giddy and crazy by passing the time giggling over "chubby cheeks" (squeezing mine and his own cheeks through Wal-mart - so glad I don't care much for what people there think). I get to Five Below and dad (Pappy Joe) calls me to ask if Caleb is okay - "Yes, why??" I'm thinking Caleb was weepy at drop off. He moves on to tell me that Caleb asked him to pick him up and put him on his shoulders and that he told him he couldn't because his knees hurt. Caleb's response was, "Oh, like Big Matt." and he kind of walked away. Dad said nothing. Long story short, Big Matt passed away last week and the funeral was last Thursday. Caleb did go to viewing Wednesday night with us and was a okay. We explained that Matt wasn't in any pain anymore and he was in heaven - I think the typical answer you give a 4 year old when explaining death except with some added detail on a soul (kid is too smart for his own good). So I get him home telling Matt what he told dad and he asks Caleb about it asking if he was worried about Pappy Joe. Caleb's response, "Yes, because he hurts." He walked away and then we realized just how much he understood... Big Matt was in a lot of physical pain and needed a cane to walk in more recent months. So hopefully we can get beyond this phase of worry quickly, but then again he's his mother's child so I'm doubting it.

A little boy's dreams come true...

So let's just say that yesterday Caleb's world was rocked... We went to a firefighter festival that Uncle Jeff was a part of as a firefighter in Harrisville, OH. Caleb was excited to see Uncle Jeff for the simple fact that in Caleb's eyes he IS the best thing ever! In case you haven't figured this out by now, Caleb is absolutely OBSESSED with being a firefighter. So dreams were made when Caleb was taken on the fire truck for the parade AND got to work the sirens and lights. Video to come soon once I can get it off my phone!

Not a baby anymore....

My baby isn't a baby anymore... He now sleeps in his own bed, insists on "helping himself" instead of anyone else helping him, and starts preschool on Wednesday.  I think I'm probably more worried than he is and hope that this year is better. He's with 11 other kids only and in a really small YWCA program so I think it will be. He's all excited that his backpack and coat go in the "rooster cubby" and of course the playground. It's funny to look at all of his baby pictures and then look at him and see how he's grown in the last 4 and a half years. Sometimes I feel like that time was wished away because of school or work and I forgot all about the whole part that I wanted to keep around. I tell him all the time to stop growing and the quick response has always been, "No! I want to grow up and be a strong firefighter!" This two year obsession has gone crazy! Firstly, 2 years seems crazy - obsessed for half your life about being a firefighter seems so extreme but then I wonder if that's what he'll eventually do.  I also laugh as mom tells him that she wants him to go to college. While I do to, I also realize because of work that it isn't for everyone. I guess only time will tell!

Time is flying

It's hard to believe that Caleb is now 4! What the heck happened here? Not only is he 4 BUT he's full of attitude and thinks he's a 30 year old bachelor!

He's also OBSESSED beyond words with being a firefighter - all we hear is "Mommy when I get big I'm going to..." Keep in mind the ... could be "be a firefighter," "have a fire dog and fight fires," and anything else - use your imagination because boy does he!

A boy and his fire dog (Sammie)

In a better situation though, I came to realize while sitting in his speech session yesterday that it's been a year and a half since he's started speech with Miss Christie at the Children's Institute in Norwin. I went from this 2 and a half year old who pointed and grunted to this amazing, non-stop talking, precocious, advantage taking 4 year old who believes he can take on the world and win. My question remains - WHEN did this happen? It's like time stopped and all of a sudden he's almost on target. He's still tough to understand speech wise if you're not around him a lot or if he talks too quickly but the point being I had fears he would always grunt and point. Okay, if you know the kid, you know he's smart - maybe even too smart for his own good - so this was probably a VERY unrealistic fear, but a fear none-the-less.

Baby to Boy!

1 month old - first pictures - still lived in VA.

Hanging out in the bumbo

What a CUTE pumpkin!

First hair cut in Disney World!

We are the men in black! - Looks like he's so big here!!

Moose Hat!

Just before turning 4 - he looks like a little college professor!

Pre-school

Well, in less than a week Caleb will start his school journey at JB's Bright Beginnings in Irwin. I'm not sure who this will be harder on, me or him, even though I know he needs this on so many levels. His new schedule (what 3 year old has this kind of schedule??) is:
Monday - School: 9-11:45
Tuesday - Speech @ 1:15
Wednesday - School: 9-11:45
Thursday - Speech @ 11:45
Friday - Speech @ 8:30, School 9-11:45

At first I worried about this schedule but he's excited for school and he loves his speech classes. We're hoping this will increase his overall speech, but I guess we'll see what happens.

In the mean time, I think I feel worse about pre-school because I can't take him on his first day.  I might try to arrange this with my internship and work so that  I can at least take him Wednesday morning with my dad and then come to Seton Hill... It's going to be a crazy year!

For anyone in the Pittsburgh area, feel free to join our Apraxia walk team on October 2nd! All the proceeds go to CASANA to help fund research for why some kids have this disability.

Adult Bullies.... still dumb, just old..

So after some recent events, I just could help myself but to point out flaws of bullies... The first thing to be said, no I was not bullied at work or anywhere else, just know of a situation which sounds like a 3rd grade classroom and needed to toss it out... :)

With that said here it is....

Bullies target because of:

Being good at your job.

The bully fears exposure of their inadequacy and incompetence, your presence, popularity and competence unknowingly and unwittingly fuel that fear.

Being the expert and the person to whom people come to for advice, getting more attention than the bully.

Having a well-defined set of values which you will not compromise.

Having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited.

Showing independence of thought or deed.

Jealousy and envy are strong motivators of bullying.

Regularly choose the target by offensive remarks and language or give the silent treatment. 

Degrade, threaten, or humiliate.

Wow, sounds like something a kid would do when they need to feel better about themselves right or want attention?? 

Types of bullies:

Sadistic, narcissistic bully
Lacks empathy for others. Has low degree of anxiety about consequences. Narcissistic need to feel omnipotent. May appear to have a high self esteem but it is actually a brittle narcissism.

Imitative bully
May have low self esteem or be depressed. Influenced by the surrounding social climate. May use whining or tattling or be manipulative. Often responds well to a change in the culture of the classroom or social setting. If depressed may need other intervention. 

Impulsive bully
He is less likely to be part of a gang. His bullying is more spontaneous and may appear more random. He has difficulty restraining himself from the behavior even when authorities are likely to impose consequences. He may have AD/HD. He may respond to medications and behavioral treatment and social skills training. He is also likely to be bullied.

Accidental Bully
If bullying is a deliberate act, this individual might not be included. The behavior may be offensive because the individual does not realize that his actions are upsetting the victim. If someone patiently and compassionately explains the situation, the individual will change the behavior. Sometimes social skills need to be taught. There is some overlap with the impulsive bully.

 Okay, so we can ALL be a bully at sometimes, even without realizing it but if you call someone a name because you refer to yourself as the same and think it's okay, guess what - it's not... Though perhaps accidental, other things not so much... 

Bullying and social stability

One might look at adult bullying as a mechanism of social control. Employers, government officials, and others in authority wish to retain and increase their control and authority. If power and control are central to the existence of an organization, bullying and denial about the existence of bullying may be central to the stability of the organization. Rules, regulations and clear lines of authority are not the same as institutional bullying. A person who might grow up in a family where there was covert intimidation, inconsistent demands and unfair treatment.  His parents might single him out for harsher treatment than his siblings but make him feel too guilty to speak out. Paradoxically enough, such an individual might experience a strong sense of relief after joining the military. He would experience more overt yelling and more minute-to-minute control of his activities. Yet he thrives. Why? In the armed forces he would report that he received fair and consistent treatment. The rules were predictable. The expectations were rigorous but clear and predictable. His superiors shouted at him, but they shouted at everyone else. Some superiors might be excessively harsh, but everyone knew who they were and knew what to expect. Intense, highly authoritarian situations sometimes lend themselves to bullying situations.  However, this is not always the case. If there are consistent predictable rules and no one is unfairly singled out, hierarchy does not necessarily mean bullying. In strict hierarchical situations, there should always be an avenue for individuals who feel that they are being treated unfairly or being asked to do unethical things.

Well off my soapbox, but still irritated.. oh well, can't win 'em all! :)

Resources:

http://www.ncpamd.com/Bullying_thru_life_cycle.htm

http://www.lifeafteradultbullying.com/

Weekend fun...

So people that have kids who are typical (meaning they develop every skill on time or pretty near to it) don't always understand how something so small like "I heard him say..." can really mean to us! Caleb hasn't been formally diagnosed with Apraxia but we continue to hear from his private speech therapist at the Children's Institute how he's looking like he's more Apraxic all the time. So yesterday we're at a picnic at Matt's cousin's house with a number of people we've never met. The one woman knew Matt's aunt and uncle fairly well and just kept saying how well behaved Caleb was and how adorable he is, bla bla bla all that other stuff that most parents love to hear (not that I don't - it's just way under rated when there are other things). I forget what Caleb said and I answered and I just kind of got this look when he did a sign and then I went into my Apraxia talk. She was shocked and just said how clear he seemed, etc... If people could only understand just how important that stuff is in comparison to how well behaved he was just for that second!